1. Trepanation
If you had a headache thousands of years ago, the “cure” might have been someone drilling a hole into your skull. This practice, called trepanation, was one of the oldest known surgical techniques, dating back to prehistoric times. People believed it released evil spirits or pressure causing pain or madness. Archaeologists have found skulls with carefully carved holes, and surprisingly, many show signs of healing, meaning patients sometimes survived.
It’s hard to imagine lying still while someone scraped away at your skull with primitive tools. The idea of curing a migraine by drilling a hole feels more like punishment than medicine. Yet in its time, it was seen as life-saving. The fact that it lasted for centuries shows just how desperate people were for relief, even if it came with excruciating agony.
2. Bloodletting
For centuries, doctors believed that illness came from having too much blood in the body. Their solution was to cut a vein or use leeches to drain it out. This wasn’t a quick prick either—patients could lose pints of blood during a single session. Bloodletting was recommended for everything from fevers to acne, and even George Washington died after being bled excessively.
It’s chilling to think that your doctor’s prescription might have been to intentionally weaken you. People often left treatment more pale and weak than when they came in. Though it sometimes worked by coincidence, it was mostly harmful. Still, it was practiced so widely that it became a medical norm for over 2,000 years.
3. Mercury Treatments
In ancient China, India, and later Europe, mercury was seen as a miracle substance. Doctors prescribed it for syphilis, skin conditions, and even as an elixir for long life. Patients drank it, applied it to their skin, or inhaled its fumes. Instead of healing, it slowly poisoned them, damaging their organs and minds.
What’s shocking is that mercury remained a popular treatment well into the 19th century. People desperate for cures endured painful side effects like mouth ulcers, tooth loss, and insanity. Imagine taking a toxic metal daily, believing it was your best chance at survival. Looking back, it feels more like a cruel trick of fate than medicine.
4. Hot Cauterization
Burning a wound closed with a red-hot iron was once a common practice. Doctors used it to stop bleeding or “purify” infected tissue. Soldiers injured in battle often endured this brutal method, with little more than a bite stick for comfort. The pain must have been beyond description, and the risk of infection afterward was still high.
The idea was that fire destroyed the source of illness, but it often left patients scarred and traumatized. The smell of burning flesh would have been unforgettable for both patient and healer. Though it occasionally saved lives by sealing wounds, it’s hard not to see it as medieval torture dressed up as medicine.
5. Crocodile Dung Contraceptives
In ancient Egypt, women used a mixture of crocodile dung and honey as a contraceptive. The logic was that the thick paste would block sperm. In reality, it was unsanitary, likely caused infections, and couldn’t have been pleasant to apply. Yet it shows how inventive people were in trying to control fertility.
This method makes modern birth control sound like a luxury by comparison. It’s unsettling to think of women risking their health just to avoid pregnancy. Using animal waste as medicine feels more like a cruel punishment than a solution. Still, it’s a reminder of how far people would go for control over their own bodies.
6. Mummy Powder
During the Middle Ages and Renaissance, crushed-up mummies were sold as medicine. Believed to contain mystical healing powers, “mumia” was prescribed for everything from headaches to stomach problems. Wealthy Europeans would ingest the powder, not realizing they were consuming centuries-old human remains.
It sounds grotesque now, but at the time it was considered high-end treatment. Patients believed they were absorbing ancient life force or strength. In reality, they were likely swallowing dust, decay, and bacteria. The practice blended superstition with medicine, but it feels more like horror than healing.
7. Hemiglossectomy for Stuttering
In the 18th and 19th centuries, some doctors believed stuttering could be cured by cutting out part of the tongue. This procedure, called a hemiglossectomy, left patients in agony and often made speaking nearly impossible. The logic was that altering the tongue would change speech patterns. Instead, it robbed many people of clear speech entirely.
Imagine going to a doctor hoping for help with stuttering, only to leave with a mutilated tongue. The cruelty of this treatment is hard to fathom today. It turned a manageable speech issue into a life-long disability. What was framed as progress was really a painful step backward.
8. Goat Testicle Implants
In the early 20th century, a doctor named John Brinkley claimed he could restore male virility by implanting goat testicles into patients. Men paid large sums for the procedure, which was both painful and dangerous. The implants did nothing medically, but the promise of renewed strength lured many hopeful customers.
The surgeries often led to infections, complications, and humiliation. It’s shocking how long Brinkley got away with the scam before being exposed. What’s worse is how willing people were to undergo such bizarre surgery out of desperation. It shows how thin the line can be between medicine and exploitation.
9. Boiling Oil for Wounds
During the Renaissance, a common way to treat gunshot wounds was pouring boiling oil into them. Doctors thought gunpowder poisoned the flesh, and oil would cleanse it. Patients screamed in agony as their injuries were essentially cooked. Unsurprisingly, survival rates weren’t very high.
The practice only stopped after a French surgeon named Ambroise Paré accidentally discovered that a gentler salve worked better. Until then, countless soldiers endured unimaginable pain. It’s one of those moments where medical tradition clearly did more harm than good. Looking back, it seems unbelievable that this was once standard care.
10. Smoke Enemas
Yes, this was a real thing. In the 18th century, doctors used bellows to blow tobacco smoke into a patient’s rectum. It was believed to revive drowning victims or treat ailments like headaches and abdominal cramps. Kits for “tobacco resuscitation” were even stationed along the River Thames.
The idea now sounds ridiculous, but at the time it seemed innovative. People genuinely thought smoke could stimulate the body back to life. Instead, it was uncomfortable, ineffective, and often harmful. Today, it’s remembered as one of the strangest and most laughable medical fads in history.
11. Plombage Therapy
For tuberculosis in the early 20th century, doctors sometimes inserted ping-pong-ball-like implants into patients’ lungs. The idea was to collapse part of the lung, giving it time to “rest and heal.” Patients lived with these objects pressing inside their chests, often causing infections and long-term damage.
At the time, it was considered groundbreaking. In reality, it left many people worse off and didn’t cure the disease. Imagine struggling to breathe while foreign objects shifted inside you. Compared to modern treatments, it feels barbaric and cruel.
12. Antimony Pills
In the 17th and 18th centuries, people swallowed pills made of antimony, a toxic metal, as a cure for digestive problems. The strange thing was that the pill was reusable. It would pass through the body and could be cleaned off and swallowed again for years.
This bizarre practice combined danger with frugality. Patients basically poisoned themselves slowly, thinking it was medicine. Reusing a pill for decades seems unhygienic and unsettling. It’s no wonder antimony pills eventually fell out of favor once their dangers became clear.
13. Nose Job with Arsenic
In Renaissance Europe, some surgeons used arsenic to treat nasal issues or reconstruct damaged noses. The chemical was believed to heal or stimulate new growth. In truth, it was toxic and often left patients disfigured or dead. Still, people desperate for cures lined up to take the risk.
The irony of using a poison to fix your face is chilling. Instead of restoring appearance, it often worsened it permanently. Treatments like this remind us how experimental and dangerous early surgery was. Beauty came at a terrifying price.
14. Ear Candling
This practice has ancient roots and still pops up today. The idea is to stick a hollow candle in your ear and light it, believing it draws out wax and toxins. In reality, it’s ineffective and can burn or damage the ear canal. Ancient practitioners thought it restored balance and health.
While not as gruesome as some other treatments, it still borders on torture when you imagine hot wax dripping into your ear. Patients endured it because they trusted healers who swore by the process. Even now, some people believe in it despite medical warnings. It’s a reminder of how persistent strange practices can be across centuries.