15 Boomer Rules About Friendship That Young People Find Bizarre

1. Always Answer the Phone, No Matter What

Pexels

Boomers grew up in a time when the only way to reach someone was through a landline, so if the phone rang, you picked it up—no excuses. Letting a call go to voicemail was practically a crime because it meant you were ignoring someone on purpose. This mindset has carried over into the modern world, even though we have texts, emails, and social media for communication. Younger people don’t see a missed call as a big deal, but boomers might assume it means you’re avoiding them. They’ll even call multiple times in a row, thinking you must not have heard the first one. And don’t even try to text them back instead—they’ll probably just call you again to “explain it better.” The idea that someone might not be in the mood to talk or that a text could be just as effective doesn’t seem to register. To boomers, answering the phone is a sign of respect and good friendship. If they pick up for you every time, they expect the same in return says Newsweek.

Meanwhile, younger generations see phone calls as intrusive, preferring to schedule them ahead of time. They find it exhausting to drop everything just because someone decided to call. There’s also the issue of anxiety—many younger people feel nervous answering unexpected calls, especially from friends they’re not in the mood to talk to. But boomers don’t understand why anyone would be anxious about a casual phone call. If anything, they think avoiding calls is a sign of bad manners or a lack of care. They also don’t realize that a quick text saying, “Hey, what’s up?” is usually enough. Instead, they leave long voicemails, explaining everything they could have just texted. Then, if you don’t call them back immediately, they’ll assume something is wrong explains MSN. To them, talking on the phone is the foundation of real friendship, while younger people see it as just one option among many.

2. If a Friend Moves Away, Keep in Touch Forever

Pexels

Boomers have a deep-rooted belief that if you were once close friends, you should remain close forever—even if life takes you in completely different directions. They’ll call or send letters to childhood friends they haven’t seen in decades, expecting to pick up right where they left off. Younger people, on the other hand, tend to let friendships fade naturally when circumstances change. To them, it’s normal for some friends to be just for a season of life. But boomers think that if you were once important to each other, there’s no excuse not to stay in touch. They don’t see distance or changing interests as valid reasons to drift apart. Instead, they’ll send Christmas cards, make birthday calls, and expect the same in return says Business Insider.

Younger generations, however, often feel pressured by this expectation. They might enjoy catching up occasionally but don’t see the need for constant updates. It’s not personal—they just believe friendships evolve, and that’s okay. They also have social media, where they can passively keep up with old friends without needing direct contact. But boomers don’t think scrolling through someone’s posts counts as staying in touch. To them, friendship means making an effort, no matter how much time has passed. If you don’t reach out, they might assume you don’t care anymore. Younger people, though, often feel overwhelmed by the idea of maintaining every past friendship forever.

3. Borrowing Money from Friends Is Taboo

Pexels

Boomers were raised with the idea that money and friendship don’t mix. If you needed cash, you went to a bank, not your friends. Asking for a loan, even just twenty bucks, was seen as irresponsible or even disrespectful. If a friend did lend you money, paying them back immediately was crucial. Otherwise, it could ruin the entire friendship. Boomers believe that owing money to a friend creates an uncomfortable power imbalance. Even if it’s a small amount, they see it as a serious issue. They’ll often refuse to borrow or lend money, no matter how close they are.

Younger people don’t have the same strict views. Splitting bills, covering a friend’s tab, or even loaning each other cash is just part of modern friendships. Apps like Venmo and Cash App make it easy to send money back and forth, removing the awkwardness. While they still believe in fairness, they don’t see borrowing as a friendship-ending offense. If someone forgets to pay back ten dollars, it’s not a huge deal. But boomers might hold onto that debt in their minds forever. They see financial boundaries as essential, while younger generations are more relaxed about it.

4. Showing Up Unannounced Is Normal

Pexels

Boomers grew up in a time when people just dropped by each other’s houses unannounced. If you were in the neighborhood, you’d stop in for a chat, no invitation needed. It was seen as a friendly gesture, not an invasion of privacy. There was no need to call ahead—your friends were expected to be happy to see you at any time. If they weren’t home, you’d just come back later or leave a note. This was especially common in smaller communities where everyone knew each other. It was a way to maintain close relationships without the hassle of making plans.

Younger people, however, find this bizarre and even anxiety-inducing. They prefer to schedule hangouts in advance and hate the idea of someone showing up out of nowhere. They see their home as a private space, not an open-door social hub. Getting an unexpected knock on the door can feel intrusive rather than friendly. Many younger people won’t even answer unless they’re expecting someone. The idea of just “stopping by” feels outdated and disruptive. But boomers still don’t understand why this is such a big deal. To them, friendship means being comfortable enough to drop in at any time.

5. If a Friend Asks for Help, You Always Say Yes

Shutterstock

Boomers have a strong sense of duty when it comes to friendship. If a friend asks for help—whether it’s moving furniture, fixing something, or just running an errand—you say yes. Refusing would be seen as selfish or rude. They believe that friendship is about showing up, even when it’s inconvenient. This applies to big things, like helping someone through a crisis, and small things, like giving a ride to the airport. Even if it’s a hassle, boomers feel obligated to help. Saying no isn’t really an option unless you have an extremely good reason.

Younger people don’t always operate this way. While they’re happy to help their friends, they don’t believe in sacrificing their own needs just to be polite. They value boundaries and won’t feel guilty for saying no if they’re too busy or just not up for it. Boomers, however, might take that personally. To them, helping friends is non-negotiable. If they call you in need, they expect you to be there. Younger people see friendships as more flexible, while boomers see them as lifelong commitments. This difference can cause confusion and resentment on both sides.

6. Friends Should Always Give Gifts for Major Life Events

Pexels

Boomers believe that if a friend gets married, has a baby, buys a house, or even just has a big birthday, you’re supposed to give them a gift. It doesn’t have to be expensive, but showing up empty-handed is considered rude. They see it as a way of celebrating milestones and showing you care. Skipping out on a gift, especially for something like a wedding or baby shower, is almost unthinkable. Even if you can’t attend the event, they still expect you to send something. Boomers also keep track of who gave them gifts and make sure to return the favor when the time comes.

Younger people don’t always follow this rule. While they might bring gifts for close friends, they don’t feel obligated for every single occasion. They might celebrate with a nice message, a social media post, or just by showing up. Some even prefer to pitch in for a group gift instead of buying individual presents. The idea of keeping a mental record of who gave what feels outdated and stressful. Boomers, however, see gift-giving as a sign of respect. If you don’t give a gift, they might assume you don’t care about them. Younger people see friendships as less transactional and don’t expect material things to define their relationships.

7. Loyalty Means Defending Your Friend No Matter What

Pexels

Boomers were raised with a deep sense of loyalty, and to them, that means standing by their friends no matter what. If someone talks badly about your friend, you’re supposed to defend them. If they make a mistake, you support them anyway. Boomers believe that friends should always take each other’s side, even when they’re wrong. It’s not about logic—it’s about loyalty. They see this as a core part of friendship, and anything less is seen as betrayal. Even if you privately disagree, you don’t call your friend out in front of others. You just back them up and talk about it later.

Younger people don’t see loyalty in quite the same way. While they believe in being there for their friends, they also think accountability is important. If a friend does something wrong, they’re more likely to call them out than blindly defend them. They don’t believe friendship means agreeing with everything someone does. This can cause friction with boomers, who might see it as disloyalty. Younger people think true friendship includes honesty, even if it means disagreeing. But boomers still believe that real friends should be united against the world, no matter the circumstances.

8. You Should Have Friends of All Ages

Pexels

Boomers don’t just make friends with people their own age—they’ll befriend anyone. They don’t see age as a barrier to friendship and are happy to hang out with neighbors, coworkers, or even the guy they chat with at the coffee shop. They believe friendships should be based on personality, not birth year. It’s not uncommon for them to have best friends who are decades older or younger than them. They also tend to befriend their friends’ kids, which can seem strange to younger generations. To boomers, a good friend is a good friend, regardless of age.

Younger people tend to form friendships within their own age group. While they might have older or younger acquaintances, their close friends are usually in the same life stage. They feel that age differences can create gaps in understanding. Boomers, however, don’t see why that should matter. They believe wisdom and experience make friendships stronger, not weaker. Younger people, on the other hand, feel more comfortable around those who share their current struggles. While they respect older friends, they don’t always see them as peers. But boomers think friendships should transcend generations, and they don’t understand why younger people stick to their own age group.

9. If You Make Plans, You Have to Follow Through

Pexels

Boomers take commitments very seriously, especially when it comes to social plans. If you say you’ll be somewhere, they expect you to show up—no last-minute cancellations. They don’t believe in flaking, even if something better comes up. To them, canceling plans is a sign of disrespect and means you don’t value the friendship. Even if you’re tired, not feeling social, or just not in the mood, they think you should push through. They also expect detailed explanations if you do cancel. A vague “I can’t make it” isn’t enough—you need a legitimate reason.

Younger people see plans as more flexible. If someone isn’t feeling up to going out, they believe it’s fine to cancel. They prioritize mental health and personal comfort over social obligations. They also don’t feel the need to justify their decisions. A simple “Hey, I can’t make it tonight” is enough. Boomers, however, might take this personally. They see canceling as an insult to their time and effort. Younger people value spontaneity and don’t see plans as set in stone. But to boomers, a commitment is a commitment, and they expect you to honor it.

10. Friends Should Visit Each Other in the Hospital

Pexels

Boomers believe that if a friend is in the hospital, you visit them—no excuses. It doesn’t matter how busy you are or how uncomfortable hospitals make you feel. Even if it’s a minor procedure, they expect you to show up and bring flowers or a card. Visiting in person is a sign that you truly care. If you don’t visit, they might assume you don’t take the friendship seriously. Even if you call or text to check in, it’s not the same as being there physically. To boomers, being there in tough times is what friendship is all about.

Younger people see things differently. While they’ll definitely check in and offer support, they don’t always feel the need to visit in person. They believe that respecting privacy and personal space is just as important. Many younger people also feel anxious about hospital visits and worry about intruding. To them, sending a thoughtful message or offering help in other ways is just as meaningful. But boomers don’t see it that way. They believe showing up in person is what matters most. If you don’t, they might see it as neglecting your duties as a friend.

11. If You’re in Town, You Have to Stop By

Pexels

Boomers think that if you’re visiting their city, you absolutely have to see them. Even if your trip is packed with other obligations, they expect you to make time. If they find out you were in town and didn’t reach out, they’ll be hurt. They don’t care if you were just passing through or only had a short stay. To them, not stopping by is a sign that the friendship isn’t as important to you. Even a quick coffee or lunch is better than nothing. They believe that being in the same place means making an effort to reconnect.

Younger people don’t always think this way. While they love seeing friends, they don’t feel obligated to meet up every time they visit a place. They might be there for work, family, or other plans, and sometimes, they just don’t have time. They don’t see it as an insult—it’s just a matter of priorities. But boomers often take it personally. They believe that friendship means making the effort, no matter how busy you are. To younger people, friendships can survive without constant in-person meetups. But boomers think physical presence is a key part of maintaining strong bonds.

12. Friends Should Send Holiday Cards Every Year

Pexels

Boomers love holiday cards. To them, sending and receiving them is an important part of maintaining friendships. Every year, they take the time to write personal messages, update their address books, and send out dozens of cards. They even keep the ones they receive, often displaying them around the house. If a friend suddenly stops sending cards, they might take it as a sign that the friendship has faded. Even if they don’t talk often, a holiday card is their way of saying, “I’m still thinking of you.” It’s a small but meaningful tradition that boomers take seriously.

Younger people don’t see holiday cards the same way. While they appreciate receiving them, they don’t always feel the need to send them. With social media, they can just post a holiday message or send a quick text instead. Many find the whole process outdated, expensive, or time-consuming. Some even feel uncomfortable giving out their mailing address for something they could just as easily get through a digital message. Boomers, however, see this as impersonal. To them, a handwritten card shows real effort. If a friend stops sending them, they might assume the friendship has lost its meaning.

13. If a Friend Moves, You Have to Help Them Pack

Pexels

Boomers believe that when a friend moves, it’s all hands on deck. Packing, lifting, and hauling boxes are just part of the deal. They expect friends to show up with strong arms and a good attitude, no questions asked. It’s not just about physical help—it’s about showing loyalty and support. Even if it’s inconvenient, they believe friends should step up. They’ll also offer their own truck, bring snacks, and make a whole day out of it. If you don’t show up, they might take it as a sign that you don’t really care about them.

Younger people don’t always see things this way. While they might help close friends, they don’t assume it’s an automatic obligation. Moving is stressful, and hiring movers is often the preferred choice. Younger people also value their free time and don’t feel guilty for saying no. They might offer emotional support or send a housewarming gift instead. But boomers don’t understand why anyone would refuse to help a friend move. To them, friendship means showing up when it counts. If you skip out on a moving day, they might not forget it.

14. If You Loan Something, Expect to Get It Back

Pexels

Boomers are strict about borrowing. If they lend you something, they expect it returned in the same condition—or better. Whether it’s a book, a tool, or a casserole dish, they remember what they loaned out. They might even write their name on items to ensure they come back. If you forget to return something, they’ll politely remind you—but they won’t forget. Borrowing without returning is seen as a serious breach of trust. They believe that respecting other people’s belongings is a sign of character.

Younger people are a bit more relaxed about this. They often lend and borrow things without thinking much about it. If a friend forgets to return something, it’s usually not a big deal. They might not even remember who has what. While they still believe in respecting others’ belongings, they don’t see it as a major friendship issue. But boomers take this very seriously. If you borrow something and don’t return it, they might hesitate to lend you anything again. To them, borrowing is a responsibility, not just a casual exchange.

15. Friends Shouldn’t Keep Track of Who Pays for What

Pexels

Boomers have a more casual attitude about splitting costs with friends. If they pay for lunch, they don’t expect an immediate Venmo request for half the bill. They believe friendships shouldn’t feel like a financial transaction. They take turns paying and trust that things will even out over time. They don’t like discussing money in social situations and think keeping strict tabs on spending makes a friendship feel cold. If they cover a meal or tickets, they don’t want to be asked, “How much do I owe you?” right away.

Younger people, however, prefer to keep things fair and square. With apps like Venmo, they’re used to instantly splitting costs. They don’t want to assume that one person will always pay, and they don’t want to feel indebted. For them, keeping track of money prevents awkwardness. Boomers, however, see this as unnecessary and even rude. They think friendship should be about generosity, not calculations. If they pay for something, they expect appreciation, not a request to “settle up.” Younger people just see it as a way to avoid financial tension, but boomers think friendship should go beyond the numbers.

Scroll to Top