1. Ordering for Your Date
Back in the day, it was pretty common for a boomer to take charge of the dinner situation by ordering for their date. Whether it was picking the wine or choosing the entrée, this was considered an act of chivalry. But today, it might come off as a little presumptuous. Most people now expect to have a say in what they’re eating and, frankly, don’t want someone else deciding for them says Upworthy.
The idea of someone just picking out your meal without asking what you like is a hard pass for many younger folks now. What was once seen as suave is now regarded as outdated. We like to have some agency in our dining choices, thank you very much. A little more consultation and a little less control is what’s now in style.
2. Wearing a Suit and Tie for Every Occasion
For boomers, first dates often meant dressing to the nines, no matter the venue. Even casual dinners or coffee dates had them reaching for a suit and tie, wanting to make a great impression. These days, however, dressing up like you’re attending a black-tie event can feel a bit over the top. Casual dress codes are much more common, and showing up in a three-piece suit could give the impression that you’re trying too hard adds AARP.
Sure, looking presentable is important, but going for the stiff, formal vibe? Not so much. Casual yet thoughtful choices like a nice button-down or even a trendy jacket are way more on point now. First dates are more about getting to know the person, not about impressing them with your wardrobe. It’s all about balance and comfort these days.
3. Calling Instead of Texting
For boomers, making the first move usually meant picking up the phone and giving a ring. Texting wasn’t even on the radar back then. But in today’s world, calling might seem a little too intense. Most people under 40 prefer to start a conversation with a text before anything more personal. The thought of having to chat on the phone right away can feel overwhelming, especially if you’re just trying to figure out if you’re compatible with someone says Kent Live.
It’s not that calling is “wrong,” it’s just that it doesn’t mesh with the more laid-back communication style of younger generations. Texting allows for more flexibility, and it doesn’t make you feel like you’re under a microscope. It’s also a lot easier to hit send when you’re unsure how the conversation might go.
4. Offering a Ride in Your Big Sedan
Back in the day, offering a ride in your car on a first date was just part of the deal. Boomers often drove around in their large sedans, taking their date wherever they wanted to go. However, in today’s world of ridesharing apps and people owning multiple vehicles, the idea of being driven by a stranger could feel a little uncomfortable.
A lot of people today prefer to meet up in a neutral location or even carpool to the spot, just to keep things a little more casual. The big sedan, which may have been a symbol of success and style back then, now feels more like an outdated relic. Plus, the modern mentality of independence makes the idea of relying on someone else for a ride seem a bit antiquated. These days, driving yourself (or taking a rideshare) is a totally normal choice for a first date.
5. Chivalry With a Heavy Hand
While it was once the height of politeness for boomers to open doors or pay for everything, today’s dating scene has redefined what chivalry looks like. Back in the day, the expectation was often that the man would pay for everything, even if the woman had her own income. However, nowadays, splitting the bill or at least offering to is the norm.
More than just who pays, there’s also the matter of how chivalry is expressed. For example, constantly holding the door open or pulling out chairs might seem less like a romantic gesture and more like an attempt to exert control. Today, mutual respect and equal effort go a lot further than grand gestures. It’s not about who’s paying or who’s holding doors—it’s about being considerate and kind in a more balanced way.
6. The Awkward Polaroid Selfies
Taking Polaroid selfies was a common move for boomers, who loved snapping instant memories. But today, that could come across as cringeworthy, especially on a first date. We’ve traded the awkwardness of instant photos for more thoughtful selfies, often with some planning involved. No one wants to be bombarded with a picture of themselves mid-bite or during a half-conversation.
Plus, the whole thing just feels so…dated. Modern selfies are all about the right moment, the right angle, and the right lighting—none of which were in the cards when those early Polaroids were taken. So, while the intent behind a snapshot might have been sweet, it doesn’t exactly fit into today’s fast-paced, curated social media world. A simple photo can still be nice, but it doesn’t need to feel like it’s a permanent reminder of a first date.
7. Meeting the Parents on the First Date
This one was surprisingly common for boomers. It was nothing for someone to introduce their date to their parents right off the bat, sometimes even before a second date. Today, though, this would raise a lot of eyebrows. Most people like to get to know each other a bit first before involving their families in the mix. Meeting the parents too soon can make the whole date feel like a job interview.
Plus, the pressure of meeting someone’s family that early might feel like too much. While it can be nice to see how someone interacts with their family, most people prefer to build their connection first, without having to impress anyone else. It’s just one of those traditions that doesn’t translate as well into modern dating dynamics.
8. Going to the Movies for a First Date
Taking someone to the movies was once a classic first date idea. But these days, it can feel like a bit of a cop-out. The issue is simple: you don’t get to talk or really get to know each other when you’re sitting in a dark theater for two hours. With all the streaming options and virtual experiences today, people are more interested in activities where they can actually engage in conversation.
It’s hard to have meaningful dialogue when you’re both glued to a screen. Instead, many prefer to do something interactive—like visiting a museum, going for a hike, or grabbing coffee. That way, the date feels more like an experience and less like a forced, silent hangout. Who knew a trip to the movies could fall out of favor?
9. Writing Handwritten Letters Before the Date
Before texting, there were love letters—and boomers often used this route to woo someone. Imagine writing a thoughtful letter and mailing it to someone before even meeting in person. While the sentiment behind this gesture was sweet, in today’s world, it would feel a little too intense and time-consuming. Modern dating culture favors quick exchanges via text or apps, not waiting days for a letter to arrive.
Plus, the pressure of writing something eloquent before you’ve even had a chance to meet could make things a bit overwhelming. A quick message or a swipe might feel more fitting in the fast-paced world we live in now. That handwritten letter, while thoughtful, would likely feel out of place on today’s first date scene.
10. Talking About Marriage and Kids Early On
For boomers, first dates often involved serious talk about the future. They weren’t shy about discussing things like marriage and children early on, seeing it as a way to gauge compatibility. Today, though, that’s considered a red flag by many. Most people prefer to focus on the present and enjoy getting to know someone before diving into long-term commitments.
Bringing up kids or marriage on the first date could make it feel more like an interview than a fun outing. Everyone wants to make sure they’re in a relationship for the right reasons, but getting ahead of yourself too soon can backfire. Modern dating thrives on spontaneity and taking things slow, without the pressure of defining the relationship right off the bat. Some things are better left for later in the process.
11. Giving a Full Tour of Your House
A first date often meant showing off your living space—sometimes with an entire tour of your house. Whether it was showing off your trophy collection or talking about your childhood bedroom, boomers liked to give a deep dive into their lives. These days, though, a first date at your home is often viewed with suspicion. Most people are wary of inviting someone over too early, preferring to meet in public settings where they feel safe and comfortable.
You don’t want to give the impression that you’re trying to move things along too quickly, and the idea of someone going through your personal space can be a little intimidating. Instead, we stick to the traditional coffee shop or restaurant, keeping things neutral and low-pressure. It’s about creating an environment where both people feel at ease, without unnecessary invasions of privacy.
12. Laying Down the Ground Rules Immediately
Boomers sometimes came into dating with a very “this is how it’s going to be” mindset, laying down ground rules early on. Things like “I never want to see a movie on a date” or “I don’t drink alcohol” might be things they’d announce right off the bat. However, this directness can come across as a little overbearing in today’s dating culture. Many people today prefer to approach relationships with flexibility and open-mindedness.
Rather than having rigid expectations and rules, it’s more common to go with the flow and see where things take you. Of course, setting boundaries is important, but making your “deal-breakers” known right away could potentially scare someone off. Being open to learning about each other and adjusting as you go is much more in line with modern dating.
13. Expecting a Kiss Goodnight
Back in the boomer era, a kiss goodnight at the end of a first date was almost mandatory. Whether it was a peck on the cheek or a more intimate kiss, it was the expected conclusion. Today, however, the idea of a mandatory kiss feels a little presumptive. People are more likely to feel comfortable with a simple hug or handshake at the end of a first date, depending on the vibe.
The pressure to have a kiss happen automatically can make the whole situation feel awkward. Instead, modern dating culture emphasizes consent and comfort, with physical affection only occurring when both parties feel ready. The idea of expecting a kiss just because it’s tradition isn’t as common now as it once was.